DO I TEND TO LISTEN OR TO “STAND MY GROUND”?
“Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman called out, ‘Have pity on me, Lord! My daughter is tormented by a demon.’ . . . Jesus said in reply, ‘It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.’ She said, ‘Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters.’ Then Jesus said to her in reply, ‘O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.’” Matthew 15: 21-28
This Gospel story, which appears only in the gospels of Matthew and Mark, reflects two very different, often antagonistic, neighboring cultures of Jesus’ time. From the Jewish perspective, a Canaanite woman had no good reason to be seeking anything from Jesus, a Jew. One hopes that Jesus’ words refer to the expected inability of a rabbi’s prayer to be in any way valuable to an “unbelieving” Canaanite.
“EXPECTED INABILITY” EXTEND TO MORE THAN ONE’S RELIGION
Don’t we all have “unbelieving” people in our lives – people who think differently than “I think” and, from our acquired, not innate perspective, are judged by us as having an expected inability to be in any way valuable to us? This perspective is not just in matters of religion or politics.
When we are young, we spend so much time building our own lives that we don’t realize we are also building our own view of the world (instead of trying to find and live with the world view that God has). That tends to lead us into a them-vs.-me way of listening and hearing what others say. It makes us “buffered” individuals who filter things and people according to whether or not they fit or are antagonistic to “my worldview” of just about everything and everyone.
If we are not careful this may impact our relationships. Can I think of times when I heard a spouse, parent, son or daughter, boss, employee, co-worker say something that I didn’t like? Did it trigger a “them vs. me” reaction within me that was similar to what may seem to us as the initial reaction of Jesus to the Canaanite woman in this Gospel story? But Jesus may have been encouraging her to speak from her heart so that the disciples present would hear her reveal it to him.
BUILDING THE KINGDOM OF GOD ONE CONVERSATION AT A TIME
Think about everyday conversations as opportunities to build “God’s world” rather than as opportunities to defend “my world.” Why would we want to do this? Because we know that our God is Love Itself – a Trinity (or community) of persons – and we see in ourselves this same precious ability to form ourselves into communities of persons!
A LESSON FROM JESUS AND THIS CAANANITE WOMAN
Consider this story of the encounter of Jesus with this Canaanite woman: What an extraordinary meeting of two people raised in diverse, often antagonistic cultures and who worshiped very different gods. They knew that they lived in two very different cultures, religious and otherwise. They speak to each other about matters where their cultures are at odds. They hear each other. They meet and complement each other. And that takes them to a different place. It builds a relationship that helps both of them. It is building God’s kingdom in the here and now world.
What a wonderful meditation for us living in the midst of a multitude of diversities. Let us try to be like the Jesus of this Gospel story in some of our own ordinary encounters of today and the coming week. Let’s reflect on these experiences and see if what happens in them leads us to a better understanding of what it is like to live from a perspective that builds the kingdom of God in the present time and place.
Might this be what, from the beginning, God intended for person-to-person communication, be we speaking about family matters, work responsibilities to religious, cultural, social matters or whatever? Let us approach each other with minds and hearts that speak and listen rather than “stand our ground,” that seek words and ways to “meet and complement” rather than to criticize and condemn.
I cannot envision a Jesus who would give up His God, but His allegiance to God did not separate Him from others. Can we find it in our hearts to follow his lead? Can we rather than “standing our ground” do more “meeting and complementing”?
Sister Loretta